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Last Kiss from Neptune – Neptune in aspect to Mars part 2   Leave a comment

There is a fallacy or myth in modern society that we have to sexually satisfy our partner, in truth I can buy a vibrator and satisfy myself morning, noon and night if I want to.  My sexual satisfaction is not the responsibility of somebody else and they are not responsible for ensuring I meet some feminist quota for orgasms, and the same is true of myself I am not responsible for their sexual satisfaction either. In relationships we can only be responsible for our own sexual satisfaction and that means accepting and making ourselves responsible for our sex drives if they are unfulfilled whether we are male or female we can fulfil them ourselves.

This leaves us free to have sexual relationships without stress and pressure, where we do not need to fulfil the other but to express our sexuality with another.  We are free simply to express ourselves and enjoy ourselves without having to fulfil some fantasy role as the perfect lover.  This is what we can only offer each other the honesty of our sexual nature, being expressed with trust in another, that both natures will be accepted and enjoyed as sharing a deeply private and personal aspect of who we are.  This is the most important function of sex – the sharing off a side of our personality that very few will ever get to know and this rather than satisfying the other makes sex rewarding and vitally important because when we share this aspect of our nature it has an honesty and truth which connects us deeply.

Sexual honesty takes courage for it is a mark of how much trust and commitment we have placed in a relationship, but when we move beyond the impossible task of being the perfect lover to the achievable task of being the real lover there must be compassion, respect and love.  Whilst there are many books and articles on being the ‘perfect lover’ there are few on how to be the real lover.  Real lovers can express parts of their nature that even they are uncomfortable with, because there is no judgement between real lovers just what each is comfortable with and how they express that comfort zone.

The easiest way for us to create sexual honesty is through opening up our fantasies as a sharing experience, not in the sense of this is my fantasy and I want it fulfilled – fantasies cannot be fulfilled in reality their fullness depends on them remaining fantasy.  In opening up our fantasies we begin to feel comfortable sharing them and the beauty of sharing fantasies is allowing the other to participate – this allows the other to express a boldness they may find unable to express in physical reality.  However in fantasy everything is possible and it allows both unlimited sexual expression and the ability to take risks and be daring this can be extremely liberating.

Sharing of fantasy allows us to gain confidence at expressing our real sexuality, it opens up our comfort zone and expands it in a relaxed and completely safe way.  The sharing of fantasy in this way is always non threatening as long as both are aware that this fantasy sharing will remain at the mind level, then both are free to act as they will within the fantasy without fear of pressure or reprimand.  This allowing each other to act in fantasy without expectation of performance in real life means that both are free to say and do the most extreme acts without repercussions and this is liberating.

From this position of liberation, both may feel the need to express their inner sexuality physically with each other and this may be intensely passionate experience.  However it should remain a deeply honest one not one in which role play is adopted but one in which the physical expression of each other’s sexuality remains true to the ideal of the fantasy in being an open and honest expression.  Fantasy works when we do not act them out but think them out and create or expand the fantasy together.  It should be inclusive and never judgemental for fantasy allows us to do what we cannot do in real life and that is to express ourselves fully.

We can use Neptune in aspect to Mars to fully express through fantasy those desires we repress as being selfish, dirty or inappropriate.  In this way we give them a fulfilment that takes away their power through guilt and desire over us, this is one of the main purposes of Neptune in our lives to give us in fantasy those things that we will not allow ourselves in reality.

This brings us on to the accusation that people can rape us with their minds / eye – nobody could ever do this, yes we may have sexual fantasies about people we meet but the fact that they are fantasy, excludes rape and violence because these things exist only in the real world.  Studies have shown that rapists are likely to have viewed less pornography than ‘normal’ males and have often had an early experience of being punished for looking at such material – pornography is a visual aid to sexual fantasy, in denying satisfaction through fantasy these drives build up at an unconscious level because there is no means of expression. Fantasy is a pressure release system and one that works very well at relieving stress of being human and having to control our animal instincts.

Yet some of us still feel guilt at our fantasies but in accepting them for what they are a coping mechanism that allows us to be fulfilled without selfishness, violence and destruction that some of our animal drives would cause if acted upon in reality we can fully accept and come to terms with both our humanity and our animal nature.

 

 

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Posted March 21, 2015 by neptune's Aura Astrology in Uncategorized

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